What Month Is It?

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Photo by Nathan Wolfe on Unsplash

I honestly can’t believe I am into month three of my Project 333. I’ve gotten very used to looking at a bare closet and quickly deciding what I’m going to wear each day.  It’s about time for me to open up the storage tub of old clothes to go through and decide what will be in my winter closet (January-March).

I’ve actually sold a lot of my clothes and baby clothes on Poshmark, and am kind of having fun doing it. It has also been incredibly eye opening to the sheer amount of clothing circulating in this country. There’s an overabundance of clothes in people’s closets, and even more waiting to be bought in stores. It’s kind of alarming.

If you have never browsed Poshmark, I encourage you to take a look. If you are looking to change up your wardrobe, consider buying used. If you use my code KENNI_LEIGH at sign up, you get $10 toward your first purchase. Seriously, free money.

In other news, I got notice today that my LLC is up and running, so yay! Never in my life did I think I would have my own business. Scary and exciting all at the same time. If you haven’t checked out my freelancing site and are in need of business writing, I encourage you to visit.

In motherhood news, the almost 18-month old has been sleeping (or more accurately not sleeping) terribly. I’m not sure if he’s getting his second molars in already or going through a bout of separation anxiety, but it’s especially exhausting. And his screams are enough to tear your eardrums.

‘Tis the season to be jolly!

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Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash // Who looks this cute in the winter?

 

Launch Day

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Photo by SpaceX on Unsplash

Since I feel like I never have enough to do [insert tired, manic laugh here], I decided to start up yet another website. Along with trying to check in here regularly and writing on Medium, I have now launched a professional site dedicated to my freelance writing business.

I write every day. Whether it’s for one of my sites or work, I feel like I am always typing. And my fingers ache. But it’s so worth it.

Within about a month I am taking a huge leap of faith and leaving my full-time corporate job to kick start my freelance business. Yikes. But the timing was right.

I am very excited to be more in control of the work I do and work when I want. With two young boys at home, I am excited and grateful for the opportunity to spend more time with them while I can.

So this is exciting stuff.

Shameless plug here, if you or someone you know has a business that is in need of writing (blog posts, articles for pitching to publications, and website and social media copy, please think of me.

I also have a Facebook page, so if you feel so inclined, give me a like!

I wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving and best wishes not losing your minds this holiday season.

Never Read the Comments

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Photo by Philipp Katzenberger on Unsplash

Earlier this year I released a book. A book about my experience with pregnancy as a type 1 diabetic. It’s a memoir, and ultimately a collection of journal entries I compiled when I was pregnant with my first son more than four years ago. I revised and edited it into book form and published it.

What was my why in doing so? It wasn’t to make a million dollars. It wasn’t a stepping stone into a career of being America’s next best writer. No. I published the book because it was something I was looking for when I was pregnant. All I had found was all the horrible things that could go wrong. It was very clear that if I wanted a healthy baby, I needed to get my blood sugars in the tightest control. I wasn’t a perfect diabetic, but I was fucking motivated.

You may be wondering what has gotten me all fired up about this? I did what writers shouldn’t do: read comments on their work. I rarely head over to KDP to review my book sales. Like I said, I wasn’t in it for the money or notoriety. But something led me there last night and that’s when I saw a one-star review on my book. And there was a comment. It started in ALL CAPS about how it wasn’t a real book for “real diabetics.” Last I checked, my t1d is just as real as everyone else’s (and I’ve lived with it for 25+ years). Then it went on to state that it was “too mushy” and I portrayed myself as a “perfect diabetic” and had “enough money to do whatever I wanted.” Not sure where the latter was formed from, but okay. It finished with “a waste of money.”

Now, I get it, not everyone will love my book (or me). But there are two things I need to point out here: 1) my book is a memoir based on journal entries, so of course it will be mushy. I was pregnant with a high-risk pregnancy, so excuse me for having feelings. Which leads to 2) I’m a real person. I not only struggle with my t1d (and all the fears of complications that come with that), but I also have normal people struggles and emotions. Do people not realize that when they leave harsh comments, that it is aimed at an actual person? Listen, you don’t have to like my book, but a simple, “It wasn’t for me” would suffice.

And now I’m agitated that I let this person get under my skin.

So here’s my purpose of writing this: think before you sit behind your computer and type out whatever word vomit that pops into your head. People are people and words matter.

https://upscri.be/os8ln4

 

 

Mental Health Check

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Photo by Natasha Spencer on Unsplash

Hey, guys.

I haven’t been feeling the best lately. My anxiety has come back to an disruptive level. It’s been close to a year since I’ve felt this way and I don’t like it.

The past week has been shitty. The youngest came down with a stomach bug while also getting 9,000 of his teeth in at once. So it’s been a lot of puke and a lot more screaming, multiple night wakings.

On top of that, Halloween got my oldest all out of sorts. His imagination got the best of him, resulting in him being scared to go anywhere in the house by himself and also waking up a few times in the night looking for me. So it’s been a game of musical bedrooms for me.

And let me tell you, the sleep deprivation has got me down. Very down.

My health anxiety is back and I’m worried about my oldest. My fear of him getting type 1 diabetes has been a consuming worry of mine for a few years now. Maybe I need to digest why. Because my husband says even if that happens everything will be okay. My son has the best parents and with me being a t1d myself, I have insight that other type 1 parents don’t.

But let’s pull back the veil; if my son gets t1d, it’s my fault. It would be my selfishness of wanting biological children that put him at risk for being diagnosed t1d. And while I live a fairly normal, happy life, type 1 diabetes has affected the quality of my life. Nearly every single moment of every single day I am making decisions based on my disease. And it’s an expensive illness, so it affects us financially. Additionally, I’m watching my t1d mother lose her eyesight from diabetic retinapathy and it’s further depressing.

While it’s a treatable disease, there is still no cure, and no parent wants to see their child go through any kind of struggle.

So I’m at a point where I want to take him in to get an HbA1c to see if his blood sugar levels are within a normal range. And I also think it’s time to get back to therapy. There’s no good that comes from all-consuming worry.

In addition to all the stress at home, I’ve had to miss a few days at work. I fear what people think of me, which I shouldn’t. But that’s the reality of working moms in the U.S. Damned if we do, damned if we don’t. The reality is that American society simply isn’t supportive of working moms.

That’s where I am today. Not great.

If you’re interested in what I’ve been writing lately, check out my stories below:

My Dog Died and My Son Grew Up Overnight

The Lost Community of American Parenting

The Faults of a Dreamer

Catch Up

Anyone know who stole October? Time has lost all meaning. It’s just a cycle of work, write, mom, sleep (kinda), and weekends that go too fast.

I warned you that I wouldn’t be active on here as much. It’s been hard trying to balance the million things I have going on, and I feel bad about neglecting this space. This is my home.

But I’ve still been writing. So I wanted to share my latest pieces with you.

I’m writing a lot on Medium. If you have a membership, give me a follow.

I’m a Millennial, and I’m Not Sorry

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Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Millennials get a lot of crap, particularly by older generations. We are often told we are self-absorbed, lazy, and complain too much. And those participation ribbons we were given back in Track Club means we constantly expect praise and are entitled to whatever we want.

I don’t fall in line with much of the millennial stereotype, but there are a few traits that ring familiar. Read how millennial I am by clicking here.

Why I Quit My Sleep App

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Photo by Alex Robert on Unsplash

As so many other working moms today, I constantly feel that there isn’t enough time. Time to do all the things — work, raise kids, spend time with my husband, work out, eat healthy, do chores — and still have time to do the leisure things I want to do.

And with two young children, it also means that I don’t get much sleep. And that has messed with my brain in many ways. Read what my obsession with sleep did to me by clicking here.

And since Halloween is almost here…

Nightmare Fodder for Your Kids

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Photo by Charles 🇵🇭 on Unsplash

My eyes were resting while I tried to focus on anything other than the feeling of being gutted.

Then I heard it. The frantic turn of the handle, the slight whimper. My oldest was heading to our bed in search of comfort after I’m assuming having a nightmare.

And there, in my moment of brilliance, I decided to acknowledge his presence and mine.

See how this one turns out by clicking here.

If you aren’t already, you can follow me on Instagram. Stay connected.

 

 

 

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