There was a point in time that I loved my dogs so much. They were my babies — my fur babies. I anthropomorphized the shit out of those dogs. I’ve never been one to dress them up in cute doggie outfits or feast them on gourmet dog treats (I have my limits), but they’d get snuggles on the couch, new toys on a regular basis, and plenty of walks. After a long day, I could come home and stare into their big puppy eyes and feel the unconditional love. All that pretty much flew out the window the second I carried my new baby boy into the house.
Bringing home a baby changes a lot. After having my first kid, I knew things would be different, but I had no idea it would change the way I felt about my pups. I’d had dogs my whole life. I love dogs. I love my dogs. However, with each passing day the more they annoy the shit out of me.
In case you similarly find yourself falling out of love with your fur babies, here are four things that changed when it came to my dogs after my tiny human was born:
- Get the f*ck away from me
My dogs love attention from people and are drawn to me and my husband (or any other warm body) like magnets. I used to think it was kinda sweet that they would follow me from room to room, always needing to be near me. Now, with an extra body in the house that is already attached to my hip, I find myself tripping over one of those bozos every time I turn around. Approximately 64% of my daily vocabulary consists of the words “get out” or “go.” Mama needs her space.
- Stir crazy K-9’s
Prior to the baby, our dogs were exercised on a fairly regular basis, especially during the warmer months. They weren’t treated to daily walks, but several times a week they got to strut through our neighborhood, breathing the fresh air and peeing on every light post and fire hydrant in sight. Now their free time consists of me yelling at them to stop wrestling so close to where the toddler has decided to plop down. Every so often when the stars are aligned are we able to venture out and let the dogs stretch their legs. With the lack of exercise they have endured over the last year and half, they seem to have developed a coping mechanism by finding new ways to annoy me and my oldest dropping the occasional deuce in the house.
- Food thieves
I think mealtime with any toddler is a disaster, but add in two dogs that will happily steal food out of my child’s tiny little mitts and you have a recipe for a total meltdown any time we sit down to eat. My son screams bloody murder anytime my oldest dog locks eyes with him with chicken nugget in hand. With a picky toddler who is unable to keep his butt in the chair for longer than 46 seconds at a time, mealtime becomes a traveling circus and my feeble attempt at keeping the hounds away from my son’s barely touched food.
- Social media replacement
When my son was born, of course he was the most adorable baby to ever grace the face of this Earth, so naturally I plastered my social media feeds with image updates of every yawn, blank stare, and smile. A picture of his angelic face napping quickly replaced the snaps I’d take of my pups snuggled up together on their bed with #snugglebuddies in the caption. There’s a new apple of my eye and those dogs just got ghosted from my Instagram.
I quite possibly have two of the worst behaved dogs on the planet, and now with a tiny human to take care of, time to adequately train those two assholes is pretty much nonexistent. So I’m stuck with what I got. The fact that their faces haven’t been posted to every buy/sell/trade group known to man makes me realize that I must still love them on some level. It’s just buried deep beneath exhaustion, lack of patience, and the new responsibilities that come with raising a child. I have faith that someday my love for man’s best friend will return. Until that time, if you want to share a bottle of wine over the shit show that is life with dogs and a toddler, I’m your girl.