Let’s talk poop for a moment, shall we? Changing diapers and wiping butts is definitely high on the list of undesirable responsibilities of having a baby, but it comes with the territory. So you roll up your sleeves and hold your breath and just take care of business.
I’ve been puked on, peed on, and pooped on numerous occasions in the past two years that it’s hardened me a little toward these bodily excretions. Let me clarify: as long as it’s my kid and I have the resources to clean up the mess, I can deal.
So, let’s dive into the event that led me to writing this.
It was Sunday evening after a busy and exhausting weekend. I had spent 90% of the weekend wrangling the kiddo since my husband was working. I was tired and needing to get caught up on some other things that had taken a back seat. It was nearing my son’s bedtime, so my husband was heading up bath time duty. I could hear my son splashing around and enjoying the water while I rushed around doing dishes and throwing in some laundry.
The next thing I hear is the bath water running full force again, my husband mumbling, and my kid in tears. As I climb the stairs, I hear my husband say, “I’ve got to clean your butt, Bud.” I knew immediately what had transpired.
I pop my head into the bathroom and ask the fated question, “Did he poop?”
“Yes, he did,” my husband responds as he is pulling a washcloth back and forth between my son’s little buns.
I tiptoe a little farther into the bathroom, expecting to see a little turd floating around. The tub is draining and, to my surprise, I don’t see any floating invader.
“Did you clean it up already?”
“Yep. I had to fish it out with my bare hands.”
At this, I burst into laughter. My husband continues to explain, “I tried to use a wad of toilet paper to grab it, but it immediately disintegrated into a million pieces as soon as it touched the water.”
I was in hysterics. I plucked my son from the tub, and wrapped in a towel in my arms, he laughed along. There we were, laughing at my husband who had just used his bare hands to scoop out my son’s turd from the bath tub.
It was the best thing. After an exhausting weekend, it was a funny experience that brought the family together. After all the rushing around to get things done, we could take this moment to laugh together.
Now, I don’t think it would have been quite so funny had I been the fisherman, so I made sure to thank my son for that.
What I’ve learned over the years is that poop stories are often funny, and can really bring people together. So my advice is that if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, take the time to laugh about it. Just make sure to keep some rubber gloves handy.