This post is a little bit of a rant, so bear with me. Or don’t, whatever.
Let’s talk about commenting on someone’s appearance and what is appropriate and what is not. Common Sense 101.
Appropriate: (to pregnant woman) You look beautiful! Can I get you anything?
Inappropriate: You’re huge! Are you sure there’s just one in there?!
Okay: Did you color your hair? It really brings out your eyes!
Not okay: (several seconds of glaring) You should lighten your hair, I like it better that way.
While I’m not currently pregnant, I had my fair share of iffy comments, and heard the gamut of those aimed other expecting ladies. But that second example is what I’m here to talk about today. I am so over people commenting on my hair (or anything about my appearance).
Let me give you some history here. I was born a blue-eyed blonde. Like super blonde. My hair as a child was so light it was almost white. As I got older, it darkened until it became a dirty dishwasher bronde (brownish-blonde). I was in 7th grade when I first highlighted my hair. I don’t remember whose idea it was, but I started highlighting at roughly age 13 and kept that up through my twenties.
In case you don’t know, lightening your hair is major upkeep. You really should go every 4-8 weeks. Gah! Time consuming and expensive. Wasn’t that big of a deal when my mom was shelling out the cash, but once I was an independent woman, a trip to the salon put a significant dent in my wallet.
Fortunately, my best friend decided to go to cosmetology school and became a stylist. While she was in school, I offered up my locks for her schooling, being the model for her learning. I’ve never been afraid of coloring my hair. It’s just hair. It grows and you can always change it.
About five years ago I was really getting tired of highlighting my hair. They say “blondes have more fun,” but I was getting pretty bored of it. I had been blonde Kendra for over twenty years. I decided I wanted to be more than my hair.
I don’t remember when exactly I walked into my friend’s salon and told her to dye it something other than blonde (nor do I remember the exact color). But I was done being blonde and wanted to try something new. That’s the essence of life, right? You have options.
Since then, I’ve been light brown, dark brown, red, strawberry blonde, back to blonde, and shades in between. Since having my first son three years ago, gray hairs (ahh!) have started to sprout here and there, so coloring my hair is a must at this point. I’m not ready to go silver fox just yet.
My point is that I don’t intend to stay one hair color forever anytime soon. I consider myself an artist and my hair is an extension of that to an extent. In a world full of color, why just stick with one?
Today, I am a roasted chestnut. It’s dark and warm. Maybe people feel like I’m not that same light and sunny personality that they correlate to my blonde hair. Maybe that’s true. Maybe I’ve been using my hair as a mood ring.
Anyway, my issue is this: people have commented about how they like me better as a blonde and it just bugs me. They are really saying, “Hey, I don’t think you look so good like that. You look better the other way.” Not a compliment. Just rude.
It’s mostly family members who have the balls to make these comments, but I’ve had co-workers do this as well. Whatever happened to “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all?”
Here’s my advice: if you notice someone you know has made a change of any kind to their appearance, if you like it, compliment them. If you don’t like it, keep your mouth shut. Pretty simple.
The one person that I do care whether or not they like my hair is my husband. I still want to be attractive for my husband, so I always ask him when I change my hair color if he likes it. And whether or not he truly does, he always says yes and that all that matters is that I like it. Take notes, people.