Letting in the Sunshine

Photo by Amy Humphries on Unsplash

It’s been a minute.

I blinked and my baby turned one. I gotta say, I am loving him at this age. He’s walking and so damn happy.

I’ve been hustling to find a plan to spend more time with my boys. And I’m excited that it may becoming a real possibility. More to come on that.

June has blown by. We’ve had birthday parties and now I am preparing to set off for a few days away from my family with a bunch of moms I’ve never met for a writer’s retreat. So way out of my comfort zone.

I feel like I’ve come to know these women through words exchanged in the feed on my phone. So I’m not really feeling any anxiety about meeting them or sharing an AirBnb with several.

What is giving me slight anxiety is being away from my boys. I raise barnacle babies and this will be the first time I’m away from my youngest, and only the second time away from my oldest (the other time being when I was in the hospital delivering my second).

I know it is good for me to be away (can we say a full night’s sleep?!), and even better for them to spend time with their dad.

But I’m trying not to let that anxiety get the best of me. I know it will be a great few days and I will be back home with my babies in no time.

Speaking of anxiety, I recently switched from taking my pill from before bed to first thing in the morning. And today I forgot to take it. Right when these anxious thoughts are closing in. Good one.

Many women who are attending the retreat struggle with anxiety, so it will be nice to be around others who truly get it. A group of moms with like-minded experiences.

Here’s how I know I am excited: I am not a hugger. I have to make a conscious effort to hug people. But the thought of being embraced by a bunch of mom writers who I’ve grown to know over the past several months is enough to bring a tear to my eye. My arms are ready.

If you are reading this, I want your take away to be that you can do more than you think. Do hard things. Push yourself. Chase those dreams and never stop. I never thought I’d be a published author, or even share my words with anyone. I never thought I’d be excited to attend an event over the span of several days and nights to be around a group of strangers. I never thought the possibility of spending more time with my kids would happen, yet I’m so close.

Take risks. Don’t back down. Know your worth and make others see it.

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