4 Things that changed with my fur babies after my son arrived

There was a point in time that I loved my dogs so much. They were my babies — my fur babies. I anthropomorphized the shit out of those dogs. I’ve never been one to dress them up in cute doggie outfits or feast them on gourmet dog treats (I have my limits), but they’d get snuggles on the couch, new toys on a regular basis, and plenty of walks. After a long day, I could come home and stare into their big puppy eyes and feel the unconditional love. All that pretty much flew out the window the second I carried my new baby boy into the house.

Bringing home a baby changes a lot. After having my first kid, I knew things would be different, but I had no idea it would change the way I felt about my pups. I’d had dogs my whole life. I love dogs. I love my dogs. However, with each passing day the more they annoy the shit out of me.

In case you similarly find yourself falling out of love with your fur babies, here are four things that changed when it came to my dogs after my tiny human was born:

  1. Get the f*ck away from me

My dogs love attention from people and are drawn to me and my husband (or any other warm body) like magnets. I used to think it was kinda sweet that they would follow me from room to room, always needing to be near me. Now, with an extra body in the house that is already attached to my hip, I find myself tripping over one of those bozos every time I turn around. Approximately 64% of my daily vocabulary consists of the words “get out” or “go.” Mama needs her space.

  1. Stir crazy K-9’s

Prior to the baby, our dogs were exercised on a fairly regular basis, especially during the warmer months. They weren’t treated to daily walks, but several times a week they got to strut through our neighborhood, breathing the fresh air and peeing on every light post and fire hydrant in sight. Now their free time consists of me yelling at them to stop wrestling so close to where the toddler has decided to plop down. Every so often when the stars are aligned are we able to venture out and let the dogs stretch their legs. With the lack of exercise they have endured over the last year and half, they seem to have developed a coping mechanism by finding new ways to annoy me and my oldest dropping the occasional deuce in the house.

  1. Food thieves

I think mealtime with any toddler is a disaster, but add in two dogs that will happily steal food out of my child’s tiny little mitts and you have a recipe for a total meltdown any time we sit down to eat. My son screams bloody murder anytime my oldest dog locks eyes with him with chicken nugget in hand. With a picky toddler who is unable to keep his butt in the chair for longer than 46 seconds at a time, mealtime becomes a traveling circus and my feeble attempt at keeping the hounds away from my son’s barely touched food.

  1. Social media replacement

When my son was born, of course he was the most adorable baby to ever grace the face of this Earth, so naturally I plastered my social media feeds with image updates of every yawn, blank stare, and smile. A picture of his angelic face napping quickly replaced the snaps I’d take of my pups snuggled up together on their bed with #snugglebuddies in the caption. There’s a new apple of my eye and those dogs just got ghosted from my Instagram.

I quite possibly have two of the worst behaved dogs on the planet, and now with a tiny human to take care of, time to adequately train those two assholes is pretty much nonexistent. So I’m stuck with what I got. The fact that their faces haven’t been posted to every buy/sell/trade group known to man makes me realize that I must still love them on some level. It’s just buried deep beneath exhaustion, lack of patience, and the new responsibilities that come with raising a child. I have faith that someday my love for man’s best friend will return. Until that time, if you want to share a bottle of wine over the shit show that is life with dogs and a toddler, I’m your girl.

Diagnosis: Baby Fever…WTF?!

Something has been plaguing me lately. I’ve felt it in my toes, and fluttering in my heart. A fuzzy warmth spreads over me and my eyes glaze over. Babies. They have that effect.

For the past several months – 18, to be exact – the very thought of another baby was enough to spontaneously turn my hair grey. No way. I have my hands full with the one.

My son finally started sleeping through the night (more or less) under six months ago, which means my sleep has started to normalize for the first time in over two years. A new “normal,” but more sleep nonetheless. But, after spending the first year shuffling to my son’s room multiple times a night, why would I want to subject myself to that again so soon?

Because there is something in a mom’s brain that tricks her into believing things won’t be that way with a new baby, or those memories have been entirely wiped clean and all you think about are those pink cheeks and little grunts and coos. Enough to make your ovaries melt.

I’m quickly pulled back into reality when my toddler is having a meltdown because I filled his cup with milk instead of juice, or I’m busy trying to wrangle him and the two dogs outside, and I think to myself how on Earth could I handle one more tiny body?

The answer, I assume, is a simple one. You just make it work.

For now, I’m able to fight the baby fever that’s been nipping at my heals. I’m enjoying my son and keeping busy, and those sweet little baby thoughts come and go so quickly. So bring it on tiny babies. I’ve got willpower of steel. I think.

Welcome to my world

My very first post on my new blog. How intimidating. I feel like I should be giving you something monumental. Disappointment number one.

Setting the tone of what you should expect from me on this blog, I hope to provide some relatable content interspersed with humor. At the very least, I want you to look at my life and laugh, with me or at me, I don’t care. There is a lot of heavy stuff out there these days, and I believe everyone deserves to escape reality with a good laugh.

Writing is my 9-5 job. I spend a lot of time with words, so why not spend a little more? Enter the blog. I hesitate to categorize this as a parenting blog, because I am in no way claiming to have any expert advice on that topic. This is just my story. And I hope you join me on this strange, beautiful journey.

So at the risk of sounding completely arrogant, I hope you stick around to read my thoughts on parenting, pets, relationships, and everything else that pops into my head. It’s gonna be weird. But, it’s gonna be real.

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